This one's for GreedyReader!
Jul. 27th, 2005 03:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mojosmomhttp://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1710646,00.html
Parrot placed in solitary for swearing at vicar
By Jenny Booth, Times Online
A foul-mouthed parrot who stands on top of his cage shouting rude words at passers-by has been isolated after swearing at the mayoress, a lady vicar and two police officers.
Barney the blue and gold Macaw has been placed in solitary confinement by his mortified keepers after he used some extremely choice language.
Stacey Clark, who works at Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary in Nuneaton, said that the bird had been handed in by a lorry driver three years ago when the man was emigrating to Spain.
"We don't know who taught him the words, but he seems to have a problem with authority figures," said Ms Clark.
"When he saw the policemen coming, he said: 'Hello, you two w*****s'. He told the mayoress and the lady vicar to f*** off. He stands on the top of his cage swaying his head backwards and forwards, singing 'B*****ks', "B*****ks'."
Normally Barney flaps around in a pen in the back garden of Geoff Grewcock's home, alongside about 300 other birds and 60 animals which have either been found injured in the wild or are unwanted pets.
But Ms Clark said that Barney had now been locked in the front room to keep him away from visitors to the sanctuary after the incidents. He was still shouting abuse at people through the window.
"The lady vicar came to borrow a bird cage, because she was preaching a sermon about the birds," she explained. "She was speaking to Barney really nicely when he said 'F*** off', clear as a bell, so you could tell exactly what he was saying. The vicar was a bit shocked but luckily she didn't mind. She even put it in her sermon on Sunday, saying she had never been told where to go by a parrot before."
Ms Clark said that Barney seemed to know what he was saying as he always picked the wrong person to insult.
"He always swears when you don't want him to," she said. "But when BBC West Midlands came round to film him, he point blank refused to say it. The reporter repeated it to him over and over and over, and he wouldn't say it back to her, so I think he knows.
"I can't wait to hear what he says when he sees himself on television tonight."
Barney does also know some marginally more polite words, apparently. When he sees someone he likes approaching, he says: "Hello, big boy."
Parrot placed in solitary for swearing at vicar
By Jenny Booth, Times Online
A foul-mouthed parrot who stands on top of his cage shouting rude words at passers-by has been isolated after swearing at the mayoress, a lady vicar and two police officers.
Barney the blue and gold Macaw has been placed in solitary confinement by his mortified keepers after he used some extremely choice language.
Stacey Clark, who works at Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary in Nuneaton, said that the bird had been handed in by a lorry driver three years ago when the man was emigrating to Spain.
"We don't know who taught him the words, but he seems to have a problem with authority figures," said Ms Clark.
"When he saw the policemen coming, he said: 'Hello, you two w*****s'. He told the mayoress and the lady vicar to f*** off. He stands on the top of his cage swaying his head backwards and forwards, singing 'B*****ks', "B*****ks'."
Normally Barney flaps around in a pen in the back garden of Geoff Grewcock's home, alongside about 300 other birds and 60 animals which have either been found injured in the wild or are unwanted pets.
But Ms Clark said that Barney had now been locked in the front room to keep him away from visitors to the sanctuary after the incidents. He was still shouting abuse at people through the window.
"The lady vicar came to borrow a bird cage, because she was preaching a sermon about the birds," she explained. "She was speaking to Barney really nicely when he said 'F*** off', clear as a bell, so you could tell exactly what he was saying. The vicar was a bit shocked but luckily she didn't mind. She even put it in her sermon on Sunday, saying she had never been told where to go by a parrot before."
Ms Clark said that Barney seemed to know what he was saying as he always picked the wrong person to insult.
"He always swears when you don't want him to," she said. "But when BBC West Midlands came round to film him, he point blank refused to say it. The reporter repeated it to him over and over and over, and he wouldn't say it back to her, so I think he knows.
"I can't wait to hear what he says when he sees himself on television tonight."
Barney does also know some marginally more polite words, apparently. When he sees someone he likes approaching, he says: "Hello, big boy."
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Date: 2005-07-27 08:28 pm (UTC):-)
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Date: 2005-07-27 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-27 08:32 pm (UTC)Now that's a parrot after my own heart! :D
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Date: 2005-07-27 08:36 pm (UTC)So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor - I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's fowl mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!". But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you!" and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets_very_quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.".
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, pardon me for asking, but what did the chicken do wrong?".
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Date: 2005-07-27 08:44 pm (UTC)Thanks for posting that- it's made my whole afternoon better :-)
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Date: 2005-07-28 03:03 pm (UTC)This promises to be a wacky Thursday.
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Date: 2005-07-27 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 01:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-28 02:00 am (UTC)